The figure stands there for an I’m Telling You I’m Not A Pitbull My Mom Said I’m A Baby My Mom Shirt and then says “Ok, sorry.” and leaves. By now shes awake and lets out an “Oh FUCK no!” and runs out of the bedroom after him. Turned out it was her ex. He would show up every so often (they had just broken up) and her roommate’s boyfriend would just let him in the fucking house without question. She’s a heavy sleeper and her ex later admitted he’d come in and watch her sleep. She wouldn’t have known if I hadn’t woken up. The next day I went out and changed the locks just in case and we had a long talk with the roommate’s boyfriend about not letting him inside anymore.
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It’s a funny story but over an I’m Telling You I’m Not A Pitbull My Mom Said I’m A Baby My Mom Shirt. Later and I still have issues sleeping through the night because I’m afraid someone will come to my house. Weirdly though I fell right back asleep after she left the room that night. Like “Fuck it, I’m sure you got this, baby. I lay there a few seconds trying to gain my bearings when I feel this heavy thing step on to my chest and walk up towards my face. It was like having a huge cat on me. It’s making this sound that kinda sounds like your cute ex-girlfriend when she snores, but much faster. As I feel what I could only imagine were whiskers tickling my chin.
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I’m screaming in my head “DON’T FUCKING MOVE!!! STAY STILL!! YOU’LL GET YOUR FACE RIPPED OFF!! WTF IS HAPPENING!! IT’S CHUPACABRA!!!” I grab the couch and start sliding it across the floor to block access to the kitchen and start slamming doors to other I’m Telling You I’m Not A Pitbull My Mom Said I’m A Baby My Mom Shirt in the house (Bathroom/roommates room) and opening the door that goes outside. Which, is on the other side of the living room. Once I have everything in place, I feel good to try and start corralling this guy out. So I grab my Louisville slugger and start trying to nudge this guy out of my closet (He wasn’t at all concerned and kinda just went with it) and I kinda push him towards the living room.